Loving bombing: It feels good, but there’s often a catch. Have you been absolutely showered with love lately? Is your partner sending gifts and messages and love songs your way every second of the day?
It can be happily overwhelming, no doubt about it! However, it may lead you to wonder what’s next. The phenomenon of ghosting after an intense love bombing phase is a sad but true reality for many people. In this article, we’ll outline the top signs that your love bombing is about to turn to ghosting.
1. You Feel Like You’re Being Smothered
Say you’re in a relationship that feels like it’s about to get serious. Suddenly, you feel like you’re drowning in nonstop attention and love. It can become so excessive that you feel as though you can’t get away.
You might feel trapped in a tunnel of love that has no end. Depending on your personality, it may actually lead you to retreat a bit. You need your space, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
If your partner doesn’t respect your space and continues dropping love bomb after love bomb, it’s a red flag. This obsessive behavior can end in a tragic case of ghosting.
2. Your Partner Is Incredibly Clingy
How does your partner react when you tell them you’re having a night out with just your family? Or you’re heading out to study by yourself? Do they tend to pop up at your school or workplace unannounced?
If your partner just can’t seem to survive without you, prepare to be ghosted. People who are this level of clingy tend to gain interest fast and lose it faster. The pressure to please an incredibly clingy partner is simply not worth it. Not only that; it’s not sustainable.
3. Your Partner is Always Talking About the Future
If your date starts talking about marriage and mortgages, you may not immediately catch it as a red flag. Some people adore the futuristic dialogue. However, be careful of how much this topic comes up.
People who love bomb and then ghost tend to be idealists. They love visualizing the future and picturing you as their perfect mate, but the idea can turn sour just as quickly as it originated. If someone’s living in the future and counting on fairy tales, take it as a sign they’re not grounded in reality.
They might not be able to actually sustain a long-term relationship.
4. Your Partner is Extremely Jealous
A little bit of jealousy gets a pass. However, if your love-bombing partner cannot stand the fact that you exchanged pleasantries with the cashier at the grocery store, something’s wrong. It’s a sign that your relationship is on eggshells.
Love bombing may indicate an obsession with stealing your attention. Your partner could be manipulating you to keep your focus and keep you away from absolutely anyone else. Sound toxic? It sure is. If extreme jealousy is part of your relationship, it’s time to confront it.
5. Compliments and Attention Are Nonstop
Let’s dissect those compliments and attention for a moment. What do they really mean? When someone love bombs you, they may tell you over and over how attractive you are. They’ll shower you with praise. But is something missing?
Often, these love bombers aren’t interested in the real you. They’re speaking words of admiration, but they’re not taking the time to get to know you. Are their compliments surface-level? Pay close attention to how they speak to you.
Do they listen to you or understand your feelings? In these situations, the answer’s usually no. This is a setup for eventual ghosting, so take caution.
6. They Want to Spend All Their Time With You
Ah, quality time. It’s one of the five love languages, and if it’s yours, watch out. If you’re dealing with a love bomber, it could signify that they’re about to ghost. Love bombers may spend endless hours with you, but you must be careful.
Set boundaries on the time you hang out together. If your partner refuses to agree to them, it means they’re uncontrollably needy. This behavior often leads to eventual frustration from both sides. You feel suffocated, and they feel rejected. However, recognize that it’s unhealthy and will likely lead to ghosting.
7. They Are Extremely Charming
Charisma is the middle name of pretty much every love bomber out there. Their charm can blow you away from day one. These people usually have infectious personalities. They could be full of hilarious, exciting tales that they love sharing with you (nonstop, of course).
This extreme level of charm may quickly fade, leading them to move on to the next relationship victim. Remember, charm isn’t love. If a charismatic individual is love-bombing you, take it with a grain of salt.
8. They Want to Know Everything About You
This sign may be confusing because, in a new relationship, the other person should take an interest in you. There should be a healthy back-and-forth dialogue about your likes, backgrounds, and hobbies. That’s normal. But what if a new partner is obsessing over the most intimate details of your life?
If your partner is love-bombing you while asking intrusive questions much too soon, it’s a sign of a breakdown. They may be interested in manipulating your emotions. Do they want to get to know you naturally, or force you to share vulnerable details too soon in the relationship? If it’s the latter, you’re at risk of being ghosted.
9. They’re Always Available
We’ve mentioned clinginess, and this sign falls along those lines. It doesn’t stop there, though. Does this person suddenly seem to put their whole life on hold for you? Do they drop every responsibility to be with you? Not only is this unsustainable, but it’s also unhealthy.
A constantly-available partner isn’t normal, and it likely goes hand-in-hand with love bombing. Their overexertion may eventually lead to burnout which causes them to leave you behind. If you feel like you’re being controlled or even stalked, you must establish firm boundaries.
10. The Relationship Moves Way Too Fast
Did your partner bring up what your kids would look like on the second date, and try introducing you to the family on the third? It feels exciting to have someone want us so badly, but moving at lightning speed is a bad sign.
It could signify upcoming emotional abuse or even a scam. At the very least, you may be at risk of the love-bombing-then-ghosting cycle.
If your partner refuses to respect your boundaries or take things at a normal speed, it may be time to call it off. It hurts, especially if you’ve already gone along with some of those relationship milestones like meeting the family. However, it’ll be better in the long run if you’re dealing with an unstable person.
11. They Disappear Without Any Explanation
The disappearing act is the final play of the love bomber. It’s a sad end to the love story, but hopefully, you can use these signs to avoid this terrible fate. Being ghosted is painful and confusing. You may try reaching out for days or even months, seeking closure.
However, you must stand up for yourself. Remember that you deserve better than to be left high and dry. If it’s not love, it’s a lesson, so take what you can from this learning experience and don’t look back. Love bombers may try to come crawling back with their tails between their legs, but be strong! You won’t be played again.
If you find yourself getting stuck in this relationship cycle over and over, you may also want to work with a relationship counselor or a therapist. They can help you identify the exact pitfalls that are your personal kryptonite so you can avoid this cycle moving forward, and help you to master relationship dynamics in the process.
